New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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