The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize
