I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
