I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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