I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
