Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
