she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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