so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
