in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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