U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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