Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
