I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
