Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
So vagazzling was a success
You've changed since you got that strap on
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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