he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
