Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
