I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
