Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
