I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
