True but thats because hes a fetus.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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