oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize