My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
