I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
