he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
