p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize