I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
