I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
