her vagina looked like bernie madoff
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize