my mouth tastes like poor choices
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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