matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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