I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
