Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize