Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
