Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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