Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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