I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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