last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
