She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
