I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
