we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
and she was petting her beer can
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
