I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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