Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
