were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
