its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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