4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
