i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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