Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
it's not cheating when I paid for it
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
