My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
