i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Drake has all the answers
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
