This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
