This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
