Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
