My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
