Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
