how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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