I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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