come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
