If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
