that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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