Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
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