It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Randomize
