Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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