Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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