Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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