I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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