Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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